NorthTemple

Little known facts about breaking your ankle

The following little known facts were discovered by my wife today, when she broke her ankle (really):

• You can break your ankle while attempting to dismount a full-size van.
• The reason the side without the break is swollen has to do with ligaments… lots of torn ligaments.
• You can lie flat on your back fairly comfortably in a parking lot for at least 30 minutes, as long as your 14-year old fetches you a quilt to lie down on.
• Frozen corn makes a great ice pack. (Thank you Un-named Lady!)
• You can safely double every estimate of how long something will take in an emergency room.
• A woman can smile and make small talk with the attendant who is forcing her ankle into a right angle while setting a cast. (She might dig her nails into your arm the very smallest bit, but overall, you will be awed by her tolerance for pain and dogged determination to remain cheerful in a situation that would probably have her husband swearing like a sailor or crying like a baby. Or both.)
• Mormons can take Lortab.
• Thanks to our friends in the Utah Legislature, an injury sustained while exiting your car cannot be paid for by medical insurance; you must submit it as an automobile accident. Seriously. (Here’s looking forward to rate increases…)
• On the other hand, if you break your ankle in Utah, you can expect 5 casseroles, two loaves of home-baked bread, and a babysitter all on your front porch before you can get home from the hospital, thanks to friendly neighbors and church support. (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but only a little one. We have meals lined up for a week and babysitting for a day, with the offer of more if we need it.)

Credit: This post inspired by my wife’s friend, who debated whether she should scrapbook about her husband’s appendectomy. (She did.)

Also see a related article on breaking your kneecap, with material provided by my 14 year old son.